Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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