just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
