can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
