I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
