btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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