I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
