It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
