This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
