Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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