fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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