dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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