I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
