none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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