true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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