i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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