I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
