He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He shit in the fireplace
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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