why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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