Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
