dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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