Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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