we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We just shotgunned beers for America
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
