So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dicks are not precious.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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