I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
