Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
