i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
