I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize