At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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