He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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