Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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