we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
