My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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