I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
