I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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