So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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