I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This baby is an asshole
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
