too bad you live with your parents still
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Terrible idea I love it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
