Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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