She announced her abortion via fbk
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
