She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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