Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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