remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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