I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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