Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
