At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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