fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
