Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
