we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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