do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can you bring me the toilet please
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
