Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The feeling are messing with the penis
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
