they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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