wat bout pragnant strippers??
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize