How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
