can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
