my mouth tastes like poor choices
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
