A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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