He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
drinking out of a sandbucket again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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