I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
