You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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