Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
