I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
