he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
