woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
