My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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