Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
