in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
