I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
