Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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