scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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